relationships

Lucky Me!

Posted on by cfox61

For years, although I have always believed in myself and my chosen career path, I have been under the scrutiny of those who believe somehow that I am “lucky” to do what I do. I am very fortunate, but that is by choice…
If “lucky” is working all hours of the night sometimes, not getting paid for months at a time, having a career that requires that my physical being is functional beyond what it wants to be at this age, a career that wreaks havoc on personal relationships due to the its demanding nature (did you read that 43.3 % of dancers/choreographers are bound to get divorced?…uh huh),
AND
that I get to meet the most amazing people and develop friendships that last a lifetime, that I am surrounded by music and movement and art…AND I get to create it with other “lucky” dancers, choreographers, artists and thespians,and that the people who are in my life and I in theirs are open to everything…typically not close minded and are emotionally in touch…I LOVE that part!
Yes, then I guess I am lucky….But it’s all a choice…
But remember, the next time you say that to me, that you made a choice too…and you should also feel lucky every day…

New or Used?

Posted on by cfox61

I came to a realization recently…

The other day I was chatting with a friend and we were discussing the topic of buying a car.

This conversation came about after he decided to test drive a new vehicle that he’d had his eye on.  Ultimately he would never buy it because he doesn’t believe in purchasing new cars when they lose their value the minute you’ve driven them off the lot.

It got me to thinking. If you apply this to relationships then, no man should have a virgin, right?

the real gift

Posted on by cfox61

I hate to love you…paradoxically thinking or oxymoronically?

“He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears.”Michel de Montaigne

I fear that I shall love, so does that mean I already love what I fear?

I have feared loving: “fear is the enemy of love”.

en·e·my ˈenəmē/noun: a thing that harms or weakens something else.

It’s as if we choose not to love because we fear “it”: it’s ability to take over our minds, our bodies and our senses.  Giving in to love can signify a complete surrender of oneself. I have always struggled with the concept of two people becoming one.

But…for me, this says it all.

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”

― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea