Work is never really over…when you’re self employed
When you are self employed, taking time to do anything that is not relevant to your work, your life’s ambition, etc, is, quite frankly, a giant guilt trip. Especially if you are in financially challenged business, like the arts, for example (ahem).
I don’t know about you, you other self employed people, but, I get up and get to work at the crack of dawn every single day and throughout the day, and, even on what would seemingly be a “day off”…
-Think of work
-Prepare for work
-Decide when and what I am going to do for work when I am supposed to actually be working
-Actually work (don’t know how that is different than any of the above, but whatever)
It’s unfathomable for some to know, to relate, to discern the pain of others.
Pain is manifested in many different ways for each individual, and, the breaking point is not always evident until it is. Those of us who appear to be the most confident, the strongest, the most together, if you will, are most often the first to be called out, and ostracized when that break happens.
Our fragility is hidden. Our weaknesses carefully guarded and hiding down deep in our painful refuge of sadness. Guilty for feeling helpless, and fearing that revelation of these darknesses will result in an avalanche of desertion by everyone around us. It’s as if our imperfect actions, and behaviors are open to severe criticism as if somehow we capably strong people can take it. Because we are grossly aware of our flaws and self magnify those imperfections, to have them put on stage is like death. So,
You don’t know where that tipping point begins and where it ends…you don’t know.
What’s best, you ask? How the hell do I know? Does anyone know?
Probably not, but somehow we keep making choices based on “what’s best…” for ourselves, our children, our parents, our friends…everyone.
Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. It REALLY is true. And to be too sensitive to what everyone else thinks that you “should” have done for yourself or them just keeps you in a state of doubt, discomfort, angst, and question interminably.
That is no way to live…and I want to be clear though. Merriam Webster’s no. 2 definition of BEST is this:
: most productive of good : offering or producing the greatest advantage, utility, or satisfaction. What is the best thing to do?
When we give our “best” advice or opinion, especially to and for those we love, it is usually because we love them.
Do you know the old saying
“You can’t fit a square peg into a round hole?”
It has many inferences.
And, it is important to be intuitive enough to know when things are being forced to happen and when you need to follow the lines in the sand and stay on track. The wind will continue to try to blow you backward when you know that you MUST follow the lines and move forward.
Because it the right thing to do.
Sometimes moving forward doesn’t mean something new. It may mean moving forward where you are in that place that is stagnant presently. As oppositional as that sounds, it makes perfect sense. Sometimes the universe sends us signals that we ignore. Why? Well, think of how many times you’ve abandoned a project because: A. you forgot about it. B. You got frustrated with it. C. You got bored of it. D. It was too hard…
Well, as with most things in this life, unresolved projects, situations, relationships, don’t go away.
So, here I am saying, “Okay, universe, help me finish this project. I’ve never given up. Oh, yes, I’ve lost hope/faith, whatever, soooo many times, but I’ve never given up. Now I need your help, your guidance to complete this project and to make it whole. To manifest its intentions to the fullest”
And, with that said. The intention is now in full motion.
Are YOU on board?