yea, right…

so, in my mind, i’ve written many articles with many topics, and yet, I see here that it is not true. i want to blog, to write about my many daily experiences. i want to have time to jot down these meanderings. and then i don’t. i don’t get to, that is.

have you seen the lion king? the circle of life thing, and all…? well, there’s no mystery in that scene. if you are still alive at 50 and are gifted with knowing others who are and still others who are close to twice that, then you know that not a hell of a lot is new. just renewed. we aren’t the inventors. we are the re-creators, the re-inventers. someone else most certainly did it first. but the revival, the reinvention is the new part especially for those who are unaware of the inception or introduction of whatever it is that they think is new.  so, yea, right…that’s new…for anyone who is learning of anything for the first time.  not to be undervalued.

In a fishbowl, we are

glug, glug

drowning in our own dirty water. unchanged. in need of clarity.

there seems to be “nowhere to run, nowhere to hide”.                                                  anymore.

we are at the mercy of intrusive onlookers, videobloggers, critics, judgers…no one is given a pass.                                                                                                                            anymore.

we are subject to abject criticism. we are exposed. and not necessarily truthfully.    we are not allowed privacy.                                                                                                        anymore.

well, I say NO mOrE.                                                                                                              anymore.

 

ok. yeah….

seriously, folks. are we so sick of all of this shit? I mean all of this.

parents who overmanage their offspring, bosses who overmanage their employees, friends who overmanage their friends…

I am sincerely and without regret or apology DONE with the overmanagers.

if you want to do my job, well then, voila! it’s yours.

but , just get the &*$# over it AND yourself. whatever it is.

the parents of children past didn’t worry about whether it was relative to their social “health” (ahem status), they just dropped their kids at point A and picked them up there at the designated time. “what do you want for dinner” and “what time do you have to be at school tomorrow” was sufficient.

BAM. that’s it. that’s all. what??!!

no. there’s no more. faggedaboudit….

 

Dating Conversation…

It might seem silly.     It might seem trite.    It might seem irrelevant.

But IT. IS. REAL

THIS is dating today for those of us 50+.

Me: Hi

Him: I apologize for the late “Hi”. (2 emojis)

Him;  a bit later …”.hereeeee”

Me: Sorry…been pretty busy…(relevant details that an adult faces, children, elderly parents etc)  Oh, and I don’t do major Spartan Races, or that sort of thing…It looks like it’s a requirement for a relationship….so…well, I think I’m out!…

Him: All good! Not looking for a partner for Spartan Races, just someone to  watch me jump the “fire line” (what the hell is that??)…(OH, [swoon…gag-o-rama])

Him 2 days later: Plans for Saturday?

Me: How are you?

Him: You seem too busy …I’ve asked you questions and and all you say is how are you…what gives?

Me: I was actually driving [and quickly responded to apease you] (In my head I said that)….. But I wanted to answer your questions.  I am a very busy person, but isn’t that better than someone who is completely bored with their life…and has nothing else to focus on??? I have exciting projects coming up!

Him:  I’m excited for you…but seriously, I’m busy too..no excuses.  You only communicate every 3 days and most men expect you to communicate every day. At least to find out how we are…When would you find time to be with me? Why are you even on this site? You don’t even have time for a relationship!…Unless of course you are only seeking a physical relationship….I’m just as busy as you are…Don’t say it isn’t so. just saying. It only takes a minute to (declare your undying love-give me a f’ing break) say hello…or to ask how was your day…

Me: (Nothing…cuz at this point, and for real before that, I am SOOOO done.)

Him: I am no longer interested.

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don’t think he even realized that by saying he wasn’t interested (after I ignored him), that he was ACTUALLY saying he was interested….hahhaahahhaahahahahaha

Good night…

Like I give a F@%*

 

 

 

Write that book, they say…

It’s time. It’s been time for awhile. I  started 14 years ago with my book…and it IS TIME

IT IS TIME!  But, you know, I have way more material now, and frankly, it is good.      I will certainly be exposed. I will probably offend people. I will also engage people. People who have shared my experiences. It will be glorious. But, at last I will be free and true to it all. And, those of you who love it will know exactly what I mean. I am actually excited about something passionately for the first time in over 10 years.

This is excellent.

It has seemed to me that everyone else is allowed to be exactly who they are without criticism, without judgement, without contrition. Perhaps, it’s my own self doubt and judgement that has restricted my ability to be exactly as I am to all people.  I am ready. It’s like a baptism, like a communion, like a ceremony, like no other freedom that I have known. EVER. And, I. AM. READY. And as frightening as this seems, it is also exhilarating.  I might end up friendless, and I might not. If I am, I will know that all my relationships are conditional, and THAT is a thought I don’t wish to own. Knowing and learning about all kinds of people is what I have done for over 3o years in my professional life. Without acceptance of the various individuals that have crossed my path and that I have shared numerous hours with, I would not have survived. It doesn’t make me exceptional, just accepting. And with the political climate as it is, it has been difficult at best (to say the least).

My only hope is that others can truly accept me exactly as I am, in the way that I am expected to accept them.  Hope springs eternal?  I hope so….

Silence is ROTTEN!

SILENCE IS GOLDEN….Keeping one’s mouth shut is a great virtue, as in Don’t tell anyone else about it—silence is golden.   Although this precise phrase was first recorded only in 1848, it is part of a much older proverb, “Speech is silver and silence is golden.”
Yes!!!  because, I seriously don’t want to hear all of the BS most people have to unload.
I think that in the “olden” days people were more discreet and didn’t feel the need to “share” every personal detail of their lives with simply EVERYONE who cared to hear, read or “social-medialize” their information.
And then the flip side of my thoughts prevails…opinion and its validity.
Silencing myself permanently for the sake of peace is like being constipated.
That is the gist.  I’ve “lost” friends for the sake of opinion. Sadly.
It is ironic that those who preach tolerance have lost their sight in terms of practicing tolerance.
I won’t hide anymore. I am me. I am who I am. And that is that. Silence is only golden when preservation is imminent, necessary and prudent. Not out of fear. Period.
Word.

Truth or Consequences…

That’s right. Truth. Or consequences.

We have the opportunity to be our authentic selves every moment of every day, and, yet, most of us choose to be what we perceive is the expectation of our legitimate selves.

We fear rejection so intensely that to be exposed for ourselves is paramount to complete nudity.

That’s all.

That moment…

you know, THAT moment.

that moment when you realize that one thing.

the thing that you never quite imagined being, or doing, or dealing with for real.

you know…THAT thing…

I don’t need to explain it to you. you KNOW what it is.

So, I will leave it there…

but, you know what I’m talking about…

dismissal…

to be dismissed…that is right along there with rejection. it’s probably one of the most heinous forms of being ‘let go’ that I know.  we are dismissed regularly in daily conversation by friends, colleagues and the like. we are dismissed in so many ways by people we care about because it is assumed that we are part of the clan and it doesn’t matter if we notice that we are being dismissed.

rejection. that’s it.

Analysis…

In the panoramic view of ones life, we must realize that although perspective can be  expansive it is also narrow.

It is right in front of us and yet we can live within the confines of our choosing.

In living “the dream”, which, when compared with the norm, seems, in contrast, to be restricting, is exactly what all others only dare to dream.