Does it need explaining?

In my mother’s day, you didn’t wear your “@%&” on your sleeves.

You just kept a stiff upper lip. I really believe there’s something to that.

It kind of goes hand in hand with our more recent explorations of “creating our own reality”.  If you live in your own misery, it soon becomes your existence.

that’s all…

truth

Artists:

so many mediums, aspects, genres, styles, designs, plots, inspirations, ideas, creations, emotions, scripts, presentations, performances, showings…                                                 and on, and on…

like our sexuality, it is not a choice. we are artists.                                                                  and, no, we do not need your approval to be this, to do this, to live this.

WE. ARE. THIS.  unlike so many professions, we ARE our artistry.

it is life, breath, it is existence. period. and, it is, at times, many…many…many…times very painful.

the criticism, skepticism, and, well, disdain for the lack of financial security related to our artistry, by others, for our supposedly ‘chosen’ path, to create the very amazing, mind-stretching and brilliant works that entertain everyone else who can afford to enjoy our art, is sad, insulting, mind-boggling and shameful.                                                         even those who love us, like us, tell us we are “talented, wonderful, even geniuses” are not fully “in”. ‘gosh, you are so smart, you would be so good at…(fill in the blank)’.

thank god, we don’t give a shit if ANYONE likes what we create and have the fucking balls to expose to everyone on a regular basis. some see it as bravery, others say crazy.

we have no choice.

creation is innate and raw, and contrived, and self-imposing, and selfish, and lovely, and selfless, and necessary…it is necessary to those who create, and especially for those who are the recipients of the creation. you need us. you do. and, as such, should be compensated fairly for our necessity. but, guess what? when we are not, we keep on.       because…we must…and because it is a love so insistent. because.

just because…

love you long time…

Do you have a situation that requires great decisions and reflections? A situation that feels like it will never be resolved and, more importantly, a situation that feels like it is uniquely yours that no one else could possibly relate to….???

Of course, you do. You are human. And it sucks a whole f’ing lot of the time. And you wonder…”Am I the only one who…(fill in the blank)?”  No, you definitely are not.

But, that doesn’t make your situation unimportant. In fact, it makes it perfectly relevant.

Why? because, believe it or not, we all relate. Someway, somehow. We are all dealing with S#$t, and we all have to go to work, take care of children, take care of our parents, do a job we hate, do chores we dislike and work with people we might not necessarily choose to work with….Damn it, just take care of f’ing everything!

IT. IS. HARD. PERIOD.

And, you know what? we have to keep doing it. Just like our great-grandparents did. Like our grandparents did. And, maybe our parents. Keeping a stiff upper lip isn’t necessarily bad.  Wearing our crap on our sleeves all the damn time, is heavy. It is counterproductive. It is useless. How does it aid in solving our personal crimes, our maladies, our misgivings? It doesn’t. Because, as my daughter might say, most people only care about themselves.

Does that hurt? Too bad. Because it’s true. Most people only think about how almost everything relates to them. Their pain, their joy, their heartaches, their victories. YUP. True. All of it true. We like to think that others are concerned with our well being. Some are, but most are not. We are all self-consumed.  The truth is difficult.

Take some time to love YOU, and you will be amazed at your ability to reach beyond yourself to love others and genuinely care about them. And, maybe, just maybe, all of that S#$T might be bearable…My experience is that, yes, being selfless yields positive results…Just saying…

 

 

bye..

myblogisbitchin

Yesterday is yesterday.    And it was great! (mostly)

Today is today. And it’s great too! (mostly)

But, tomorrow is what I look forward to at the end of each today.

I know that each tomorrow is an opportunity to get it right and to make a change or a difference in my life and in others.

Walk through that door of yesterday and today’s yesterday and make tomorrow your next great today.

That’s my plan…

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Welcome to Carter Manor…

    Carter Manor is a serene, and yet, complicated place.  Where there is regular teatime and the table is always set properly.  Patricia, Francis, Harry, Madge and Sean reside at “The Manor” and enjoy and indulge in the offerings afforded daily.  The live-in help ensures that all of the residents are well fed and cared for in the manner in which they are accustomed.  Breakfast, lunch and dinners of lovely meats, breads, vegetables and fruits are on the menu…and, of course, delectable desserts as desired! 

More to come…

 

Perserverance

“Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”
Oh, just as I thought…I am definitely going to claim that moniker!
And, I AM successful…always have been.
However, for many years, I didn’t know it or believe it, because I was allowing others to define that success for me.
Well, no more!
I am owning every morsel, every inch of that success.
Every minute, hour, day, month, and year that I trudged uphill in search of my success.
Every tear, every painful criticism along the way.
Every moment of fear, of fearlessness.
Every feeling of joy, and pride.
Everything.
All of it.
I own it.
Steadfast I am.
Successful I am.
I am…
Perserverance.

yea, right…

so, in my mind, i’ve written many articles with many topics, and yet, I see here that it is not true. i want to blog, to write about my many daily experiences. i want to have time to jot down these meanderings. and then i don’t. i don’t get to, that is.

have you seen the lion king? the circle of life thing, and all…? well, there’s no mystery in that scene. if you are still alive at 50 and are gifted with knowing others who are and still others who are close to twice that, then you know that not a hell of a lot is new. just renewed. we aren’t the inventors. we are the re-creators, the re-inventers. someone else most certainly did it first. but the revival, the reinvention is the new part especially for those who are unaware of the inception or introduction of whatever it is that they think is new.  so, yea, right…that’s new…for anyone who is learning of anything for the first time.  not to be undervalued.

The importance of being Patricia…

 

It’s no secret that getting old is just a bitch. It’s ironic, too, because the mere fact that you have bypassed all the others who didn’t get to be old, you might be the only one left who IS old…like I said, it’s a bitch. You might not be able to see well, hear well, walk well, hell, do anything well, but you are the one. The one here, who is old, but alive.

Now, how you choose to be alive is an entirely different thing altogether. Being a 50 something with a 90 something mother, and who had in-laws in the same boat, I see this dilemma (or not) as a predicament of sorts. On the one hand, there’s the person who fights. The person who is just pretty pissed that age has robbed them of the faculties that they have relied on to survive and thrive. And then, there is the person who simply gave up because, well, they were old…

Either situation presents a dilemma. A situation of despair on one hand, and a situation of struggle on the other.  If I were to choose, and I suspect I won’t have a choice due to genetics, I will be the struggler. I will be the one fighting to the end to preserve my intellect, my skills, my strength…whatever it is I value of my personal genius. And for that I am thankful.

There is great importance in being Patricia. She models the old we might all choose to be.   What IS old after all…? That’s it?? ok…well, then why the hell are we so worried???

-having lived for a long time; no longer young.

-belonging only or chiefly to the past; former or previous.

suffocation

The hot, hot summers of Texas present this possibility.
Suffocation.
Life, also, presents this in many scenarios.
Grasping for oxygen, we struggle for breath.
For sanity and legitimacy.
Suddenly revived, anticipating the next breathless encounter… 
suf·fo·ca·tion
ˌsəfəˈkāSH(ə)n/
noun
the state or process of dying from being deprived of air or unable to breathe.
  • difficulty in breathing.
  • a feeling of being trapped and oppressed.