Perserverance

“Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”
Oh, just as I thought…I am definitely going to claim that moniker!
And, I AM successful…always have been.
However, for many years, I didn’t know it or believe it, because I was allowing others to define that success for me.
Well, no more!
I am owning every morsel, every inch of that success.
Every minute, hour, day, month, and year that I trudged uphill in search of my success.
Every tear, every painful criticism along the way.
Every moment of fear, of fearlessness.
Every feeling of joy, and pride.
Everything.
All of it.
I own it.
Steadfast I am.
Successful I am.
I am…
Perserverance.

bye..

Yesterday is yesterday.    And it was great! (mostly)

Today is today. And it’s great too! (mostly)

But, tomorrow is what I look forward to at the end of each today.

I know that each tomorrow is an opportunity to get it right and to make a change or a difference in my life and in others.

Walk through that door of yesterday and today’s yesterday and make tomorrow your next great today.

That’s my plan…

square peg, round hole

Do you know the old saying
“You can’t fit a square peg into a round hole?”
It has many inferences.
And, it is important to be intuitive enough to know when things are being forced to happen and when you need to follow the lines in the sand and stay on track. The wind will continue to try to blow you backward when you know that you MUST follow the lines and move forward.
Because it the right thing to do.

Sometimes moving forward doesn’t mean something new. It may mean moving forward where you are in that place that is stagnant presently. As oppositional as that sounds, it makes perfect sense. Sometimes the universe sends us signals that we ignore. Why? Well, think of how many times you’ve abandoned a project because: A. you forgot about it. B. You got frustrated with it. C. You got bored of it. D. It was too hard…
Well, as with most things in this life, unresolved projects, situations, relationships, don’t go away.

So, here I am saying, “Okay, universe, help me finish this project. I’ve never given up. Oh, yes, I’ve lost hope/faith, whatever, soooo many times, but I’ve never given up. Now I need your help, your guidance to complete this project and to make it whole. To manifest its intentions to the fullest”

And, with that said. The intention is now in full motion.
Are YOU on board?

Does it need explaining?

In my mother’s day, you didn’t wear your “@%&” on your sleeves.

You just kept a stiff upper lip. I really believe there’s something to that.

It kind of goes hand in hand with our more recent explorations of “creating our own reality”.  If you live in your own misery, it soon becomes your existence.

that’s all…

Dating Conversation…

It might seem silly.     It might seem trite.    It might seem irrelevant.

But IT. IS. REAL

THIS is dating today for those of us 50+.

Me: Hi

Him: I apologize for the late “Hi”. (2 emojis)

Him;  a bit later …”.hereeeee”

Me: Sorry…been pretty busy…(relevant details that an adult faces, children, elderly parents etc)  Oh, and I don’t do major Spartan Races, or that sort of thing…It looks like it’s a requirement for a relationship….so…well, I think I’m out!…

Him: All good! Not looking for a partner for Spartan Races, just someone to  watch me jump the “fire line” (what the hell is that??)…(OH, [swoon…gag-o-rama])

Him 2 days later: Plans for Saturday?

Me: How are you?

Him: You seem too busy …I’ve asked you questions and and all you say is how are you…what gives?

Me: I was actually driving [and quickly responded to apease you] (In my head I said that)….. But I wanted to answer your questions.  I am a very busy person, but isn’t that better than someone who is completely bored with their life…and has nothing else to focus on??? I have exciting projects coming up!

Him:  I’m excited for you…but seriously, I’m busy too..no excuses.  You only communicate every 3 days and most men expect you to communicate every day. At least to find out how we are…When would you find time to be with me? Why are you even on this site? You don’t even have time for a relationship!…Unless of course you are only seeking a physical relationship….I’m just as busy as you are…Don’t say it isn’t so. just saying. It only takes a minute to (declare your undying love-give me a f’ing break) say hello…or to ask how was your day…

Me: (Nothing…cuz at this point, and for real before that, I am SOOOO done.)

Him: I am no longer interested.

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don’t think he even realized that by saying he wasn’t interested (after I ignored him), that he was ACTUALLY saying he was interested….hahhaahahhaahahahahaha

Good night…

Like I give a F@%*

 

 

 

It might be MY bacon year…

6 degrees of Carol’s bacon-separation…

I swear, it seems over the years, that there isn’t anyone that doesn’t know someone that knows someone who knows someone who I know and who knows me and who either loves, likes or hates me and who I either love, like or hate. Take a breath…seriously.

Ironically, or not, I despise bacon as such. Not THE Kevin Bacon, you understand.  The smell, the taste, the name…just everything about bacon, but my life resembles the BACON PRINCIPLE.

It’s a tad terrifying. Is that a sign? I think not. Bacon is not the metaphor for my comparison. But the Bacon Principle alone. And, I am pretty sure I almost stand alone in my dislike and almost hatred of the fried and cured pig.

When you live in a place for a great number of years, and you have a business that connects people through its association, you will, inevitably, know someone who knows someone…well, you know…

In closing, my statement is:

We are not alone. We are not singular. We are not anonymous. We are here. We are real. We are seen, loved, known, forgotten, ignored, dismissed, admired, judged, envied, belied, abused, revered, praised, exhausted…and so on…

WE. ARE.

That’s all. and that’s everything.

 

Write that book, they say…

It’s time. It’s been time for awhile. I  started 14 years ago with my book…and it IS TIME

IT IS TIME!  But, you know, I have way more material now, and frankly, it is good.      I will certainly be exposed. I will probably offend people. I will also engage people. People who have shared my experiences. It will be glorious. But, at last I will be free and true to it all. And, those of you who love it will know exactly what I mean. I am actually excited about something passionately for the first time in over 10 years.

This is excellent.

It has seemed to me that everyone else is allowed to be exactly who they are without criticism, without judgement, without contrition. Perhaps, it’s my own self doubt and judgement that has restricted my ability to be exactly as I am to all people.  I am ready. It’s like a baptism, like a communion, like a ceremony, like no other freedom that I have known. EVER. And, I. AM. READY. And as frightening as this seems, it is also exhilarating.  I might end up friendless, and I might not. If I am, I will know that all my relationships are conditional, and THAT is a thought I don’t wish to own. Knowing and learning about all kinds of people is what I have done for over 3o years in my professional life. Without acceptance of the various individuals that have crossed my path and that I have shared numerous hours with, I would not have survived. It doesn’t make me exceptional, just accepting. And with the political climate as it is, it has been difficult at best (to say the least).

My only hope is that others can truly accept me exactly as I am, in the way that I am expected to accept them.  Hope springs eternal?  I hope so….

All the world’s a stage…

and all the men and women… and people… and whoever are merely players…

and all of our opinions are like assholes…how does that go?                                        everyone has one and all of them stink?  who knows…I just know that all of this ‘staging’ and ‘posing’ and ‘posturing’ is part of who we are and always has been…

but… as far as entitlements go (and apparently entitlement is an entitlement in todays world), we are definitely entitled to our own opinions, and rightfully so.

i’m not quite sure why opinions are allowed to only those who have them.

 

vanished…

Dear everyone out there who is in a relationship, has been in a relationship or is currently getting out of a relationship,

Websters definition of a relationship goes like this:
1
: the state of being related or interrelated <studied the relationship between the variables
2
: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as
a : kinship
b : a specific instance or type of kinship
3
a : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings <had a good relationship with his family
b : a romantic or passionate attachment

Whether you are in a platonic relationship or a romantic one, I implore you to observe some obvious civilities in assuming this kinship and it’s dismissal if it is the case.

“Ghosting”, the new way to exit a relationship, is, above all, disrespectful.

Equally justifiable definitions include cowardly, cruel, painful, sad, lazy, selfish, unkind and many, many other interpretations.

In this current world of complicit unrest and division, it is my concern that it has become too easy to just step away from unpleasant situations and/or not address them with courtesy.

What happened to being human and respecting each other. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  Wasn’t that what we learned as children?  What happened to self respect, dignity and truth? What happenend to compassion, appreciation, and recognition of another person’s feelings?  Where have we gone wrong in teaching sensitivity?

From experience, I know that the pain incurred from this type of silent assault is deep.  “Walk a mile in my shoes…” “See how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot…”.  Fear of rejection exists for both parties. Even if you are the rejector. But, for god’s sake, be real, be true and be mature. 

One last word…BOO!

 

 

Table for one, please!

As I get closer to the proverbial empty nest, I am often asked “Are you worried about being alone or lonely?”

Frankly, that has never entered my mind. Should it? I wonder…

And, then I ponder the definitions of those 2 words.

Alone, I am. By choice. Often. By circumstance.

Lonely, I am not. By Choice. Not often. By Accident.

a·lone
adjective & adverb
1.
having no one else present; on one’s own.
synonyms: by oneself, on one’s own, all alone, solitary, single, singly, solo, solus; More
antonyms: with others, accompanied
without others’ help or participation; single-handed.

having no companions in a particular position or course of action.
“they were not alone in dissenting from the advice”
2.
indicating that something is confined to the specified subject or recipient.
“we agreed to set up such a test for him alone”

lone·ly

adjective
sad because one has no friends or company.
“lonely old people whose families do not care for them”
synonyms: isolated, alone, lonesome, friendless, with no one to turn to, forsaken, abandoned, rejected, unloved, unwanted, outcast; More
antonyms: popular
without companions; solitary.
“passing long lonely hours looking onto the street”
synonyms: solitary, unaccompanied, lone, by oneself/itself, companionless
“the lonely life of a writer”
(of a place) unfrequented and remote.
“a lonely stretch of country lane”
synonyms: deserted, uninhabited, unfrequented, unpopulated, desolate, isolated, remote, out of the way, secluded, off the beaten track/path, in the back of beyond, godforsaken; informalin the middle of nowhere
“a lonely road”