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What, say what, now?

Posted on by cfox61

So, I live in a place where pretty much everything goes and ,yesterday, I had the opportunity to listen to a new point of view.

I didn’t realize that I lived in a “Liberal Pothole”. Which defined in tandem might go something like this…

a depression or hollow in a road surface, open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values, caused by wear or subsidence.

However, I’m fairly sure that the opinion of the deliverer of this phrase might have meant something else.

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Lucky Me!

Posted on by cfox61

For years, although I have always believed in myself and my chosen career path, I have been under the scrutiny of those who believe somehow that I am “lucky” to do what I do. I am very fortunate, but that is by choice…
If “lucky” is working all hours of the night sometimes, not getting paid for months at a time, having a career that requires that my physical being is functional beyond what it wants to be at this age, a career that wreaks havoc on personal relationships due to the its demanding nature (did you read that 43.3 % of dancers/choreographers are bound to get divorced?…uh huh),
AND
that I get to meet the most amazing people and develop friendships that last a lifetime, that I am surrounded by music and movement and art…AND I get to create it with other “lucky” dancers, choreographers, artists and thespians,and that the people who are in my life and I in theirs are open to everything…typically not close minded and are emotionally in touch…I LOVE that part!
Yes, then I guess I am lucky….But it’s all a choice…
But remember, the next time you say that to me, that you made a choice too…and you should also feel lucky every day…

New or Used?

Posted on by cfox61

I came to a realization recently…

The other day I was chatting with a friend and we were discussing the topic of buying a car.

This conversation came about after he decided to test drive a new vehicle that he’d had his eye on.  Ultimately he would never buy it because he doesn’t believe in purchasing new cars when they lose their value the minute you’ve driven them off the lot.

It got me to thinking. If you apply this to relationships then, no man should have a virgin, right?

Me, myself and my children, who are REALLY their own people!

Posted on by cfox61

As I mentioned in a previous post about possession, I really DO believe that children are only lent to us.

Yes, they are our children forever or at least until either of us passes on, but they are NOT our possessions.

I love my children more than I could have ever imagined loving anyone. I loved them more than my ex husband, which is probably why he is just that…ex.  Regardless, this is about ownership. We can own ourselves, we can own property, but we can’t own others. It’s not possible. We can belong to groups, but not to another, since in a sense, because it also implies ownership on the part of another. So, this is my declaration of freedom. Freedom from ownership. In all senses.

Possessed…

Posted on by cfox61

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pos·ses·sion
pəˈzeSHən/Submit
noun
1.
the state of having, owning, or controlling something.
“are you in possession of any items over $500 in value?”
synonyms: ownership, control, hands, keeping, care, custody, charge, hold, title, guardianship More
LAW
visible power or control over something, as distinct from lawful ownership; holding or occupancy.
“both teams attempting to gain possession of the ball”
synonyms: occupancy, occupation, tenure, holding, tenancy
“her possession of the premises”
informal
the state of possessing an illegal drug.
“they’re charged with possession”
(in football, basketball, and other ball games) temporary control of the ball by a particular player or team.
“the ball hit a defender and Brown’s quick reaction put him in possession”
2.
an item of property; something belonging to one.
“I was alone with no money or possessions”
synonyms: belongings, things, property, (worldly) goods, (personal) effects, assets, chattels, movables, valuables; More

how is it that children are possessions? i kind of thought that they were lent to us for a short time so that we could grow up…who knew???

Fur the love of god!

Posted on by cfox61

By now, if you read my last post, you’d realize that my mother is an angel. And as such, this angel is also a queen. The queen of almost everything. And as the queen of everything, she possesses this quality that allows her to do just about anything she likes with absolutely no repercussions. EVERYONE who meets her, LOVES her. She is almost 90, but somehow manages to solicit dates from men my age, and received yet another proposal on NYE from a man 30 years her junior.

We speak by phone every day. This is mandatory. And each day she usually tells me something I already know, but nonetheless, I enjoy it since she tells most stories with great panache. So, today, it goes like this…”I needed the garbage cans brought back to the house (yes, she does this and many other things, which I believe keeps her so young and vibrant!), and it was so cold I just threw on my mink coat.” My response was “Did you remember to wear your pearls?”….”I would have if I’d thought of it!” she replied…I laughed so hard because I almost think that she meant it!

Her propriety is not only revered but expected by all who are deemed worthy of her presence. As Lucy said in “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”….

“Nobody should be kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. It’s usually just a matter of knowing the right people.. ..well…. if I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very rich then I will buy myself a queendom. Yes, I will buy myself a queendom and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation myself. I will be head queen.”

And that’s that.

Seriously folks!

Posted on by cfox61

I could really use some help with all of this blogging business…like, what is the tabs thing?

And how do you get pictures and such up? You’d think I could figure it out since I created my own website and do all kinds of other technical things…oh well…

In the meantime, todays topic is frustration.

Each day I get up and plan to approach the day with a positive outlook. And, for the most part, I do feel that way. But, for god’s sake, situations arise unexpectedly (but maybe not actually) that just rattle my cage!

For instance, how can a ex husband, although not in my physical space, invade it with such enormity?

road-sign

Those of us who have thought about this path, are going through this tunnel or who have completed the journey to the other side, certainly know what this is all about. And then there are the onlookers who say “At least you don’t have to deal with him/her anymore”…

Weeeellllll, not exactly. If you have children, and I do, this is not a closed book. Deep breath.

Mind you, each day I choose to live in the moment. I love my new life. And am grateful to have the choice to make my own decisions.

I already feel better.

Self validation is the key to getting through this. External validation has its merits but ultimately you need to like yourself and love yourself. And if you have pets. Talk to them. They are the best listeners and the least judgmental.

“When we consistently suppress and distrust our intuitive knowingness, looking instead for authority, validation, and approval from others, we give our personal power away.”

Shakti Gawain

New year, new me!

Posted on by cfox61

Although I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing, I’ve been encouraged by many to begin this journey…

So, here it is, at last! MY BLOG…

Agenda:

I will be covering several topics.

a. marriage

b. divorce

c. career

d. finding new love

I hope you’ll join me on this exploration and mostly relate to what it’s trying to say. So for now, adios, and I’ll be back later!