choices

Table for one, please!

Posted on by cfox61

As I get closer to the proverbial empty nest, I am often asked “Are you worried about being alone or lonely?”

Frankly, that has never entered my mind. Should it? I wonder…

And, then I ponder the definitions of those 2 words.

Alone, I am. By choice. Often. By circumstance.

Lonely, I am not. By Choice. Not often. By Accident.

a·lone
adjective & adverb
1.
having no one else present; on one’s own.
synonyms: by oneself, on one’s own, all alone, solitary, single, singly, solo, solus; More
antonyms: with others, accompanied
without others’ help or participation; single-handed.

having no companions in a particular position or course of action.
“they were not alone in dissenting from the advice”
2.
indicating that something is confined to the specified subject or recipient.
“we agreed to set up such a test for him alone”

lone·ly

adjective
sad because one has no friends or company.
“lonely old people whose families do not care for them”
synonyms: isolated, alone, lonesome, friendless, with no one to turn to, forsaken, abandoned, rejected, unloved, unwanted, outcast; More
antonyms: popular
without companions; solitary.
“passing long lonely hours looking onto the street”
synonyms: solitary, unaccompanied, lone, by oneself/itself, companionless
“the lonely life of a writer”
(of a place) unfrequented and remote.
“a lonely stretch of country lane”
synonyms: deserted, uninhabited, unfrequented, unpopulated, desolate, isolated, remote, out of the way, secluded, off the beaten track/path, in the back of beyond, godforsaken; informalin the middle of nowhere
“a lonely road”

perserverance

Posted on by cfox61

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m no quitter. I know I rallied for actually doing it. Quitting. And I do mean to begin quitting some things. Like keeping absolutely everything because I was raised NOT to get rid of anything. But I am quitting that. Stuff. And, I’m quitting some ideas and even some people.

But, quitting on myself and my convictions. That is a NO.  I love the definitions below.

“hammer away”…”stop at nothing”…”leave no stone unturned”

I shall perservere, dammit, I’m no quitter…except when necessary.

per·se·vere
ˌpərsəˈvir/
verb
continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.
“his family persevered with his treatment”
synonyms: persist, continue, carry on, go on, keep on, keep going, struggle on, hammer away, be persistent, be determined, see/follow something through, keep at it, press on/ahead, not take no for an answer, be tenacious, stand one’s ground, stand fast/firm, hold on, go the distance, stay the course, plod on, stop at nothing, leave no stone unturned;

I Quit!

Posted on by cfox61

Fear of failure is the perpetrator of not quitting.

My entire life I have “not quit” anything. ever.

And, in my business life, and for most of my married life, that was the right choice.

But, there comes a time when it becomes necessary to allow yourself to just quit. To say, I’m done. Fearlessly, and with conviction.

And, in that ability to choose “quitting”, comes the success of that particular destination… 

Word….

…it is love

Posted on by cfox61

To love deeply, as if there was nothing else to contemplate, is my ultimate desire.

I wish to immerse myself in the wondrousness of its complexity and to drink in the simplicity of its giving.

e.Har.Money….

Posted on by cfox61

laughable, right?

the concept that we can pay for a true love.

It is NOT for me, but, I know many who have found love this way.

I’m a purist and prefer to do this the old fashioned way.  Meet him. Fall in Love.

………..

Quitting People…

Posted on by cfox61

I just don’t know why it’s so hard to quit my people. I have always believed it was loyalty, but now I wonder if it’s because it’s just easier to stay. I like things to be in their place so I can do all the rest of my stuff without complication. I am not lazy. I love my people. But sometimes it’s just time to quit.

the real gift

Posted on by cfox61

I hate to love you…paradoxically thinking or oxymoronically?

“He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears.”Michel de Montaigne

I fear that I shall love, so does that mean I already love what I fear?

I have feared loving: “fear is the enemy of love”.

en·e·my ˈenəmē/noun: a thing that harms or weakens something else.

It’s as if we choose not to love because we fear “it”: it’s ability to take over our minds, our bodies and our senses.  Giving in to love can signify a complete surrender of oneself. I have always struggled with the concept of two people becoming one.

But…for me, this says it all.

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”

― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

 

 

 

Adios Amigo!

Posted on by cfox61

 

We’re all coming and going at some point…but you know, brazil-wcup-adios-amigosthe going is great!

Like expirations on the milk in your fridge, sometimes you just have to throw out that milk even though the carton is still almost full. You hate to because it seems like a waste. You bought the milk thinking you’d drink it all, but time passed, you were busy and you forgot about it and THEN, “Oh, No!!” , the damn thing expired. You could put it in some recipe, but then you say, when am I going to bake or cook  ANYTHING with old milk…and you know no one else will drink it…so out it goes…much like marriage.

Strange segue…but it is very fitting. Marriage, after a time, is like that milk. First of all, I really don’t like milk at all. (again a relevant comparison). You know you should dispense with it, but it feels like a waste. Especially if you’ve “had the milk a while”…say 28 years or so. There is just no salvaging milk that old and sour. So you decide to buy new milk. So refreshing! So new! It tastes like no other milk you’ve ever had before and you wonder, “why didn’t I realize how amazing milk is?!”…gets you to thinking, right?

As THEY say, don’t cry over spilled, old, sour, poured out milk.

The new carton is much better…