- how your life would be different someday
- that you might not appreciate the freedom you currently have until you don’t have it on a daily basis
- that you will someday be “older”…your skin will change, your body will betray you, you may not sleep as well, you might not see or hear as well, and not remember as much
- that you may be a caregiver for a family member
- that you will learn to be alone well
- that you will learn to deal with isolation
- that self care is absolutely essential and primary to the care of your loved ones AND yourself
- that you MUST continue as much of your ‘normal’ life while in your new role in life
- that you MUST choose to be peaceful, happy and making choices that benefit your life…daily
- that you matter and that others really do not know what you are dealing with in your life
- that you do not always know what others are dealing with in their lives
- that you are not the center of the universe…but…
- that you DO matter
- that your needs are important
- be wise and choose wisely
- that it’s okay to ask for help
- that you can have a “you” day and you must…
And, it’s perfectly acceptable to say “no” to the excessive demands that prevail in the world around you because you simply cannot do everything all the time.
DO NOT allow others to predicate your existence, to usurp your joy, your energy, your self respect, your choices, to disrespect your choices, and not ask permission to invade your life.
Decades of life teaches you so many things, but you should not have to wait until you are almost dead to find these things out.
Own your livelihood, without possessing and presenting entitlement.
Be humble and kind.
But, own yourself. And, if you’ve suffered the indecencies of others, stop it! now!
Be “mad as hell, and don’t take it any longer”
What’s best, you ask? How the hell do I know? Does anyone know?
Probably not, but somehow we keep making choices based on “what’s best…” for ourselves, our children, our parents, our friends…everyone.
Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. It REALLY is true. And to be too sensitive to what everyone else thinks that you “should” have done for yourself or them just keeps you in a state of doubt, discomfort, angst, and question interminably.
That is no way to live…and I want to be clear though. Merriam Webster’s no. 2 definition of BEST is this:
: most productive of good : offering or producing the greatest advantage, utility, or satisfaction. What is the best thing to do?
When we give our “best” advice or opinion, especially to and for those we love, it is usually because we love them.
so many mediums, aspects, genres, styles, designs, plots, inspirations, ideas, creations, emotions, scripts, presentations, performances, showings… and on, and on…
like our sexuality, it is not a choice. we are artists. and, no, we do not need your approval to be this, to do this, to live this.
WE. ARE. THIS. unlike so many professions, we ARE our artistry.
it is life, breath, it is existence. period. and, it is, at times, many…many…many…times very painful.
the criticism, skepticism, and, well, disdain for the lack of financial security related to our artistry, by others, for our supposedly ‘chosen’ path, to create the very amazing, mind-stretching and brilliant works that entertain everyone else who can afford to enjoy our art, is sad, insulting, mind-boggling and shameful. even those who love us, like us, tell us we are “talented, wonderful, even geniuses” are not fully “in”. ‘gosh, you are so smart, you would be so good at…(fill in the blank)’.
thank god, we don’t give a shit if ANYONE likes what we create and have the fucking balls to expose to everyone on a regular basis. some see it as bravery, others say crazy.
we have no choice.
creation is innate and raw, and contrived, and self-imposing, and selfish, and lovely, and selfless, and necessary…it is necessary to those who create, and especially for those who are the recipients of the creation. you need us. you do. and, as such, should be compensated fairly for our necessity. but, guess what? when we are not, we keep on. because…we must…and because it is a love so insistent. because.
Do you have a situation that requires great decisions and reflections? A situation that feels like it will never be resolved and, more importantly, a situation that feels like it is uniquely yours that no one else could possibly relate to….???
Of course, you do. You are human. And it sucks a whole f’ing lot of the time. And you wonder…”Am I the only one who…(fill in the blank)?” No, you definitely are not.
But, that doesn’t make your situation unimportant. In fact, it makes it perfectly relevant.
Why? because, believe it or not, we all relate. Someway, somehow. We are all dealing with S#$t, and we all have to go to work, take care of children, take care of our parents, do a job we hate, do chores we dislike and work with people we might not necessarily choose to work with….Damn it, just take care of f’ing everything!
IT. IS. HARD. PERIOD.
And, you know what? we have to keep doing it. Just like our great-grandparents did. Like our grandparents did. And, maybe our parents. Keeping a stiff upper lip isn’t necessarily bad. Wearing our crap on our sleeves all the damn time, is heavy. It is counterproductive. It is useless. How does it aid in solving our personal crimes, our maladies, our misgivings? It doesn’t. Because, as my daughter might say, most people only care about themselves.
Does that hurt? Too bad. Because it’s true. Most people only think about how almost everything relates to them. Their pain, their joy, their heartaches, their victories. YUP. True. All of it true. We like to think that others are concerned with our well being. Some are, but most are not. We are all self-consumed. The truth is difficult.
Take some time to love YOU, and you will be amazed at your ability to reach beyond yourself to love others and genuinely care about them. And, maybe, just maybe, all of that S#$T might be bearable…My experience is that, yes, being selfless yields positive results…Just saying…
Yesterday is yesterday. And it was great! (mostly)
Today is today. And it’s great too! (mostly)
But, tomorrow is what I look forward to at the end of each today.
I know that each tomorrow is an opportunity to get it right and to make a change or a difference in my life and in others.
Walk through that door of yesterday and today’s yesterday and make tomorrow your next great today.
That’s my plan…
Carter Manor is a serene, and yet, complicated place. Where there is regular teatime and the table is always set properly. Patricia, Francis, Harry, Madge and Sean reside at “The Manor” and enjoy and indulge in the offerings afforded daily. The live-in help ensures that all of the residents are well fed and cared for in the manner in which they are accustomed. Breakfast, lunch and dinners of lovely meats, breads, vegetables and fruits are on the menu…and, of course, delectable desserts as desired!
More to come…
So, my research project begins!
Follow me as I DIVE IN…bar none! or many as the case will be…
See you all tomorrow!