Where do I begin…?

In the present, that’s where.

Now. Here. Right now as a matter of fact.

Each moment, each minute, each hour, each day… is the beginning.                                      The beginning of each new action, feeling, emotion and miracle of our life.                          We choose our destiny and who we are and who we become. Coincidence is actually fate.

It is true that we repeat our inconsequential and disappointing moments because we have not learned what we need to know yet. We relive these times until we get it “more right”.

Resolve. yes. I accept resolve. I am learning.I WILL continue to learn. I WILL get it right. And that is because I choose to be true. Be True. A powerful message that I accepted in 1980 and have lost touch with off and on over the years. My mantra for 2017.

BE TRUE.

Success…it’s all relative…

Tonight I want to talk about success. Not as it relates to monetary acquisition but more as it relates to emotional and spiritual acquisition.

So, you ask ? “what exactly do you mean?”

Personal success for me has been centered around the intangible gratification of my artistic contributions. Yes, I have been paid…sporadically and inconsistently for my work. But, that has been inconsequential to my well being. I have certainly, and morosely, over obsessed about the lack of financial infusion to my bank accounts, but that has not pre determined my dedication to the project at hand. Each year that passes,  I consider the fact that I have not contributed to a 401(k) or some other pre-destined retirement plan. I wonder if I should be really worried…and then, I forget that I thought about it at all.

My point is that success is determined by those who own it.

I own it.

Do you?

It’s real…

So, being real, is REALLY hard…at least for some people. It means vulnerability, exposure, truth.

If we are able to maintain a facade of strength, resistance, and avoidance…maybe, just maybe, we can avoid ourselves.

 

duplicity

I know. I am a quintessential vocabularian. It’s my curse.

But I am currently hung up on this concept. Of a sene of deception. The sense of betrayal is prevalent and I smell its lack of loyalty in my midst. I am not comfortable with its presence. Although the unearthing of its truth is painful, I also relish in its exposure.

Bring it on!

 

Popcorn and Red Wine

So…every woman has experienced this moment…well, probably before they were 55…

whatever…lots of dot, dot, dots…fill most of my texts and posts.

This is a “needs no explanation” post. Right???

 

Table for one, please!

As I get closer to the proverbial empty nest, I am often asked “Are you worried about being alone or lonely?”

Frankly, that has never entered my mind. Should it? I wonder…

And, then I ponder the definitions of those 2 words.

Alone, I am. By choice. Often. By circumstance.

Lonely, I am not. By Choice. Not often. By Accident.

a·lone
adjective & adverb
1.
having no one else present; on one’s own.
synonyms: by oneself, on one’s own, all alone, solitary, single, singly, solo, solus; More
antonyms: with others, accompanied
without others’ help or participation; single-handed.

having no companions in a particular position or course of action.
“they were not alone in dissenting from the advice”
2.
indicating that something is confined to the specified subject or recipient.
“we agreed to set up such a test for him alone”

lone·ly

adjective
sad because one has no friends or company.
“lonely old people whose families do not care for them”
synonyms: isolated, alone, lonesome, friendless, with no one to turn to, forsaken, abandoned, rejected, unloved, unwanted, outcast; More
antonyms: popular
without companions; solitary.
“passing long lonely hours looking onto the street”
synonyms: solitary, unaccompanied, lone, by oneself/itself, companionless
“the lonely life of a writer”
(of a place) unfrequented and remote.
“a lonely stretch of country lane”
synonyms: deserted, uninhabited, unfrequented, unpopulated, desolate, isolated, remote, out of the way, secluded, off the beaten track/path, in the back of beyond, godforsaken; informalin the middle of nowhere
“a lonely road”

perserverance

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m no quitter. I know I rallied for actually doing it. Quitting. And I do mean to begin quitting some things. Like keeping absolutely everything because I was raised NOT to get rid of anything. But I am quitting that. Stuff. And, I’m quitting some ideas and even some people.

But, quitting on myself and my convictions. That is a NO.  I love the definitions below.

“hammer away”…”stop at nothing”…”leave no stone unturned”

I shall perservere, dammit, I’m no quitter…except when necessary.

per·se·vere
ˌpərsəˈvir/
verb
continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.
“his family persevered with his treatment”
synonyms: persist, continue, carry on, go on, keep on, keep going, struggle on, hammer away, be persistent, be determined, see/follow something through, keep at it, press on/ahead, not take no for an answer, be tenacious, stand one’s ground, stand fast/firm, hold on, go the distance, stay the course, plod on, stop at nothing, leave no stone unturned;

…it is love

To love deeply, as if there was nothing else to contemplate, is my ultimate desire.

I wish to immerse myself in the wondrousness of its complexity and to drink in the simplicity of its giving.