choices

Dating Conversation…

Posted on by cfox61

It might seem silly.     It might seem trite.    It might seem irrelevant.

But IT. IS. REAL

THIS is dating today for those of us 50+.

Me: Hi

Him: I apologize for the late “Hi”. (2 emojis)

Him;  a bit later …”.hereeeee”

Me: Sorry…been pretty busy…(relevant details that an adult faces, children, elderly parents etc)  Oh, and I don’t do major Spartan Races, or that sort of thing…It looks like it’s a requirement for a relationship….so…well, I think I’m out!…

Him: All good! Not looking for a partner for Spartan Races, just someone to  watch me jump the “fire line” (what the hell is that??)…(OH, [swoon…gag-o-rama])

Him 2 days later: Plans for Saturday?

Me: How are you?

Him: You seem too busy …I’ve asked you questions and and all you say is how are you…what gives?

Me: I was actually driving [and quickly responded to apease you] (In my head I said that)….. But I wanted to answer your questions.  I am a very busy person, but isn’t that better than someone who is completely bored with their life…and has nothing else to focus on??? I have exciting projects coming up!

Him:  I’m excited for you…but seriously, I’m busy too..no excuses.  You only communicate every 3 days and most men expect you to communicate every day. At least to find out how we are…When would you find time to be with me? Why are you even on this site? You don’t even have time for a relationship!…Unless of course you are only seeking a physical relationship….I’m just as busy as you are…Don’t say it isn’t so. just saying. It only takes a minute to (declare your undying love-give me a f’ing break) say hello…or to ask how was your day…

Me: (Nothing…cuz at this point, and for real before that, I am SOOOO done.)

Him: I am no longer interested.

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don’t think he even realized that by saying he wasn’t interested (after I ignored him), that he was ACTUALLY saying he was interested….hahhaahahhaahahahahaha

Good night…

Like I give a F@%*

 

 

 

It might be MY bacon year…

Posted on by cfox61

6 degrees of Carol’s bacon-separation…

I swear, it seems over the years, that there isn’t anyone that doesn’t know someone that knows someone who knows someone who I know and who knows me and who either loves, likes or hates me and who I either love, like or hate. Take a breath…seriously.

Ironically, or not, I despise bacon as such. Not THE Kevin Bacon, you understand.  The smell, the taste, the name…just everything about bacon, but my life resembles the BACON PRINCIPLE.

It’s a tad terrifying. Is that a sign? I think not. Bacon is not the metaphor for my comparison. But the Bacon Principle alone. And, I am pretty sure I almost stand alone in my dislike and almost hatred of the fried and cured pig.

When you live in a place for a great number of years, and you have a business that connects people through its association, you will, inevitably, know someone who knows someone…well, you know…

In closing, my statement is:

We are not alone. We are not singular. We are not anonymous. We are here. We are real. We are seen, loved, known, forgotten, ignored, dismissed, admired, judged, envied, belied, abused, revered, praised, exhausted…and so on…

WE. ARE.

That’s all. and that’s everything.

 

Write that book, they say…

Posted on by cfox61

It’s time. It’s been time for awhile. I  started 14 years ago with my book…and it IS TIME

IT IS TIME!  But, you know, I have way more material now, and frankly, it is good.      I will certainly be exposed. I will probably offend people. I will also engage people. People who have shared my experiences. It will be glorious. But, at last I will be free and true to it all. And, those of you who love it will know exactly what I mean. I am actually excited about something passionately for the first time in over 10 years.

This is excellent.

It has seemed to me that everyone else is allowed to be exactly who they are without criticism, without judgement, without contrition. Perhaps, it’s my own self doubt and judgement that has restricted my ability to be exactly as I am to all people.  I am ready. It’s like a baptism, like a communion, like a ceremony, like no other freedom that I have known. EVER. And, I. AM. READY. And as frightening as this seems, it is also exhilarating.  I might end up friendless, and I might not. If I am, I will know that all my relationships are conditional, and THAT is a thought I don’t wish to own. Knowing and learning about all kinds of people is what I have done for over 3o years in my professional life. Without acceptance of the various individuals that have crossed my path and that I have shared numerous hours with, I would not have survived. It doesn’t make me exceptional, just accepting. And with the political climate as it is, it has been difficult at best (to say the least).

My only hope is that others can truly accept me exactly as I am, in the way that I am expected to accept them.  Hope springs eternal?  I hope so….

Silence is ROTTEN!

Posted on by cfox61

SILENCE IS GOLDEN….Keeping one’s mouth shut is a great virtue, as in Don’t tell anyone else about it—silence is golden.   Although this precise phrase was first recorded only in 1848, it is part of a much older proverb, “Speech is silver and silence is golden.”
Yes!!!  because, I seriously don’t want to hear all of the BS most people have to unload.
I think that in the “olden” days people were more discreet and didn’t feel the need to “share” every personal detail of their lives with simply EVERYONE who cared to hear, read or “social-medialize” their information.
And then the flip side of my thoughts prevails…opinion and its validity.
Silencing myself permanently for the sake of peace is like being constipated.
That is the gist.  I’ve “lost” friends for the sake of opinion. Sadly.
It is ironic that those who preach tolerance have lost their sight in terms of practicing tolerance.
I won’t hide anymore. I am me. I am who I am. And that is that. Silence is only golden when preservation is imminent, necessary and prudent. Not out of fear. Period.
Word.

All the world’s a stage…

Posted on by cfox61

and all the men and women… and people… and whoever are merely players…

and all of our opinions are like assholes…how does that go?                                        everyone has one and all of them stink?  who knows…I just know that all of this ‘staging’ and ‘posing’ and ‘posturing’ is part of who we are and always has been…

but… as far as entitlements go (and apparently entitlement is an entitlement in todays world), we are definitely entitled to our own opinions, and rightfully so.

i’m not quite sure why opinions are allowed to only those who have them.

 

That moment…

Posted on by cfox61

you know, THAT moment.

that moment when you realize that one thing.

the thing that you never quite imagined being, or doing, or dealing with for real.

you know…THAT thing…

I don’t need to explain it to you. you KNOW what it is.

So, I will leave it there…

but, you know what I’m talking about…

dismissal…

Posted on by cfox61

to be dismissed…that is right along there with rejection. it’s probably one of the most heinous forms of being ‘let go’ that I know.  we are dismissed regularly in daily conversation by friends, colleagues and the like. we are dismissed in so many ways by people we care about because it is assumed that we are part of the clan and it doesn’t matter if we notice that we are being dismissed.

rejection. that’s it.

Analysis…

Posted on by cfox61

In the panoramic view of ones life, we must realize that although perspective can be  expansive it is also narrow.

It is right in front of us and yet we can live within the confines of our choosing.

In living “the dream”, which, when compared with the norm, seems, in contrast, to be restricting, is exactly what all others only dare to dream.

 

Ready, Set, Go!

Posted on by cfox61

And so, you were freed from marital ‘bliss’ and now you’re free again and maybe again and again.  Who knows for how long and how many more times you’ll endure this search for your next person. Or maybe you choose to give it a rest and just hang out with your cats and dogs. (You would be wise to do this when your friends stop responding to texts or calls and your therapist is not available…just saying)

But let’s go on to the other uphill trudge you might be facing. A new career. Or maybe you are just now exploring the workforce for the first time since your exodus from your previous life. Wow! and I mean wow. Besides the obvious surge in technological advances, which you might not be familiar with, the infusion of millennials in the office place has clearly altered the professional culture of business. They don’t like to talk to you face to face.  They text, they email, they tweet, they snapchat. They don’t talk – on the phone. They understand everything technical and simply cannot comprehend your lack of knowledge in this area. They are fast. At everything. You’re thinking to yourself, “they think I’m really old…”

But, guess what you have that they don’t?  History. History = Knowledge. A different kind of knowledge that actually includes interaction with other humans. I know! right? that’s amazing! Use it to your advantage. You are valuable for the knowledge you possess. You were actually alive during the era of Nixon and Carter and Reagan. They only read about it in their textbooks. You actually WERE there in the 80’s so that at themed parties your costume is legit. (the best era yet!) Bam! You’ve got this!

Whatever it is that you pursue, make it real, make it you, make it your life’s purpose. As you may have surmised from your exit of that ‘forever relationship thing’ you did before, NOTHING is forever. Nothing.  My career has spanned almost 3 decades and despite it’s probability of survival, it has. And much to my surprise, my ex-husband and just about everyone who has journeyed this passion with me, it has survived the holocaust of emotions, financial sinkholes and physical uprooting of my life.

Final words.

You go girl!